by Sarah Quigley
For as long as I remember, my mother has felt sorry for herself and gotten anxiety attacks, or gotten anxiety attacks and felt sorry for herself. Shrinks, pills, prayers, massage, nothing has helped. So I, her only daughter, every so often, come up with a ploy. Today I found myself with a new TV on the front seat of my old sedan. I'd deliver it to her, so she could see Oprah, at least, brighter and larger. On the way, I stopped for fries and a drink, and as I drove through to pay, glumly wondered why in the world I had to draw such a morose mother out of the hat. At the little window, a man took my two bucks, glanced down at the big Sony next to me, and said, "Why, God has blessed you, I see. That's good. That's good." His Jamaican accent made of these phrases such a soothing lullaby. I almost cried.
"Yes, you're right of course."
I pulled away and began to laugh out loud. It was funny to think about a woman feeling sorry for herself because she has a mother who feels sorry for herself. The traffic light changed, red to green. "Go ahead. Be blessed and bless. It's okay my child," said a sweet motherly voice that soundeed a lot like mine.
Sarah Quigley is a poet, writer and author of The Little Book of Courage: A Three Step Process to Overcoming Fear and Anxiety (Conari Press, 2002).
Comments (1)
I went out to read after working in the yard for the lion's share of the
day. I couldn't read because I was too distracted by the profound beauty of
the light shining through new green leaves, the perfect blue sky, the
sparkles on the river, the bright orange orchard orioles, the sound of the
breeze, the feeling of the warm sun on my tired legs and feet, etc. I
marveled at the new sapling we planted in the corner of the yard. It looked
so cute. I figured how big it would get, against the sky. I thought how I
would always think of that as the Mother's Day tree. The boys dug the hole,
Tim helped with the labor and there it is for us all to enjoy for many, many
days. Then I looked around the yard and saw all the large trees and
suddenly realized that they were all little once too. They were lovingly
and carefully selected and planted in just the right spots by someone else.
We are reaping the benefits of their labors daily. I felt profoundly
grateful to the planters and to you all for introducing me to Naikan...a way
of thinking and living that make me happy and satisfied.
Posted by Kate | May 14, 2007 10:14 AM
Posted on May 14, 2007 10:14