The other day I was walking down our driveway which had become icy as a result of sleet, freezing rain, a warm sun, and then cold frigid temperatures. One large segment of the driveway was like a skating rink. Even if you walked very carefully, it was almost impossible to cross the ice without slipping and falling. So I decided to simply go around the ice by walking alongside the driveway where there were still several inches of crusty, hard snow. By going around the ice, I was able to continue my walk without confronting the ice directly.
This is the strategy Morita therapy offers for dealing with the challenging feeling-states we all face from time to time – depression, fear, anxiety, despair, frustration and even anger. We are generally taught that we must . . .
face our problems and confront them directly. This can work well when the problem is a car that won’t start or weeds in your garden. You get in there and work hard on the problem until it is solved. But this doesn’t work very well when the “problem” is our feeling-state. For this problem, we are better off learning how to “overcome by going around.”
“There is an old Buddhist term, ocho, which means overcoming by going around. In confronting a problem head-on, you may encounter a wall so high and thick that you cannot break through it. So you turn to one side and go around the wall. This is ocho. Instead of sitting desolately in front of the wall that is blocking your progress, you try to get around it by making a long detour, or even by digging under it . . . It is a subtle but simple movement of the mind that makes this transformation complete, but an invaluable one to learn and perfect.” - Hiroyuki Itsuki
It takes a lot of strength to knock down a wall of depression. It takes great courage to break through a wall of fear. But to simply go around the wall doesn’t require any strength or courage at all. It requires a bit of wisdom. It requires clarity of purpose. And it requires acceptance. We leave the ice intact. We leave the wall standing. We overcome our anxiety by going around it, not by destroying it or freeing ourselves from it. You don’t need to travel in a straight line. Water doesn’t travel in a straight line. Because of its flexibility it is impossible to contain it. Let us learn the art of ocho and live more like water.
- Gregg Krech, ToDo Institute
Comments (2)
i too have saved myself from icy paths by walking on snow covered areas, and as a whole I do my best to put this into practice wherever applicable in my life - BUT, I have to have a direct conversation with someone right now that will mean a parting of the ways, and there is nothing but ice on the path ahead of me as well as surrounding that path. Any thoughts on conquering the fear head-on for a change?
Posted by Jean | March 7, 2008 11:41 AM
Posted on March 7, 2008 11:41
Hi Jean,
I don't know the details about your conversation or the type of relationship you refer to. Based on your description, this is a problem you need to take on directly. The problems of the "external" world can often be handled this way. But in the process there will be side effects in your "internal" world. This is where ocho is most applicable. It is the ability to continue to move forward with your life without trying to conquer your internal fear, upset, anguish and disappointment. So you can try to handle the problems with this person with integrity and compassion, while using ocho as a strategy for coexisting with the internal turmoil that this challenge may create.
Good luck,
Gregg
Posted by Gregg | March 7, 2008 12:34 PM
Posted on March 7, 2008 12:34