Robert Emmons, professor of psychology at the University of California, Davis, is one of the foremost authorities on the topic of gratitude in North America. He is the author of more than sixty research articles and two books, Words of...

Naikan is a method of self-reflection developed in Japan by Yoshimoto Ishin. Its structure uses our relationships with other as the mirror in which we can see ourselves. We reflect on what we have received from others, what we have given, and what troubles we have caused. Genuine self-reflection affects so many aspects of our life-the presence of gratitude, our relationships with our loved ones, the degree of judgment we place on other's faults, our mental health, lifestyle choices, investment decisions, even our faith in a supreme being or force.

by Gregg Krech Imagine spending several days in quiet reflection, facing a wall, and making a list of all the specific things your mother did for you as a child -- thinking about the lunches she made for you to...

My Naikan reflection on this accident has allowed me to see, in detail, all the thoughtful acts that were done on my behalf by others -- many efforts by my family and people I had never even spoken with. At a time when I was wounded, weak and unable to care for myself, they were there for me, watching over me, offering their love and support to help me get well. It renews my faith in the world that we are intrinsically good, and it awakens my deep gratitude. I am more clearly aware now of my obligation to do for others.

You must learn to understand the secret of gratitude. It is more than just so-called virtue. It is revealed to you as a mysterious law of existence. In obedience to it we have to fulfill our destiny. -Albert Schweitzer

I benefit (quite often, I might add) when others/things are simply doing their job. When I experience this and respond with thanks, my world changes. Try it. Go through one whole day, saying "thank you" to everything and everyone who does something that serves you in any way.

Forgotten acts of kindness from others often surface as we reflect upon our relationships. I found this to be particularly true when I did Naikan on my dad. One of the things I remembered while reflecting on my dad involved sports.

[T]o cultivate gratitude, we need to develop a new habit of attention.... Through self-reflection, we can come to see everything we have, and are, as gifts. And through self-reflection we begin to train our attention to notice what we haven't noticed.

I think of how different this process is from Zen meditation-one looking inward, one looking outward-yet how they both ultimately point to the emptiness of self. I find that Naikan repopulates my Zen practice, which has a tendency to drift into abstraction, with the specificity of my personal relationships. The treasure of sangha (one of the more difficult-because least controllable-aspects of my Buddhist practice) is revealed. Community nourishes humility, a trait that I tend to forget in my recurring myopic vision of enlightenment. Which is to say, Naikan makes me a better Zen student. Most importantly it helps me (as does Zen) to forget myself by shifting focus onto others. This makes me more aware of how I treat the people I love, and more aware of how much grace is involved in my existence. On my return I express my newfound appreciation to my mother, and it opens a door that had been shut for years. We still have our usual problems, but there's more trust involved, more honesty. I also tell Kathryn how bad I've felt about being so distant. She smiles and says I should go on more of these retreats.

When I came home after having met Marey, that time, I did not tell anyone about my "adventure." What kind of adventure had it been anyway? I even very quickly forgot about Marey. Later I met him seldom. I never even talked with him, about the wolf or about anything else either. Now suddenly, twenty years later, in Siberia, I recalled our meeting with such absolute clarity, down to the last detail. It means it had sunk down into my mind imperceptibly, all by itself, without my wanting this. And suddenly this meeting was recalled when it was needed. That tender, motherly smile of a poor serf was recalled, and the peasant, his signs of the cross, his nods, his "Oh well, boy, how frightened you are." And especially his thick finger dirtied with earth, with which he quietly, timidly, tenderly touched my shaking lips. Of course anybody would have cheered up a small boy, but that time in this isolated meeting it was as if something quite different took place. If I had been his own son, he could not have given me a look shining with clearer love. Who was forcing him to do it? He was a peasant serf who belonged to us, and I was his young master. Nobody would know how he comforted me, and nobody would reward him for it. Did he love little children so much? There are people like that. Our meeting took place in isolation, in an empty field, perhaps only God saw from above the deep and enlightened human feeling and delicate, almost womanly tenderness which can fill the heart of a coarse, bestially ignorant Russian peasant serf.

If we can develop this ability to empathize it opens up many doors for us spiritually, psychologically and in our relationships with others. We are able to see ourselves more honestly and get closer to the truth about how we have lived. We are able to be more open with others about our faults and limitations and spend less energy trying to maintain an image of ourselves as always smart, kind and competent. The recognition of our own foolish and selfish acts adds a healthy dose of humility that may help counter our tendencies towards arrogance and self-righteousness. Of particular importance, we can develop healthier and more lasting relationships with others because we can sometimes "preflect" on how they may respond before we take a particular action. In situations where we are faced with ethical choices or dilemmas we can ask ourselves, "How would I like to be treated if I were in the other person's shoes?" You can see how similar this is to the Golden Rule (Do onto others as you would have them do onto you). It is very similar and very ancient. And though there are different versions and language of this principle it is a basic moral precept of nearly every religious teaching known to man.

The birth of our nation is an important date to remember. But let's also acknowledge the birth of our awareness -- an awareness that our freedom is a gift. A gift that's available to us thanks to the efforts and work of countless people, past and present. Self-reflection and gratitude may not be as spectacular as fireworks. But they offer human beings a better chance at transforming our relationship with one another. And we need that now -- more than ever.

The bosses of... three Japanese conglomerates are not practicing quiet sitting as a form of self-directed punishment because of some misconduct towards their colleagues or subordinates. Rather that they are followers of Naikan, which is a structured form of meditation that serves as a "consciousness for inside observation." An awakening and knowing of self and one's fellow human beings.

I was raised in a large Catholic family and as long as I can remember God has always been a part of my life. But since discovering two methods of Japanese psychology -- Morita therapy and Naikan -- I believe I am closer to experiencing true faith and establishing a more intimate relationship with God.

In order to quit drinking, it is not enough merely to make a firm resolve. One must possess the psychological strength to continue implementing that resolve. Since Naikan therapy is a comparatively restrictive mode of treatment, it may be conjectured that a fair amount of endurance and psychological strength is cultivated merely by going through the treatment itself. And it would seem that the energy to reform on one's own those things that one has discovered by carefully looking at the self on one's own, without receiving any preachy criticism from others, that energy in fact becomes the strength to remain sober.

The maxim, "Examine life outside the boundaries of your own difficulties'' describes what Naikan reflection enabled me to do. During many suffering and depressed moments throughout my recovery, my attention was completely on myself. I was unaware of the tremendous support I was receiving from reality and the troubles and difficulties I was causing others.