How Shall We Argue?

The nature of human relationships will always involve some level of conflict or disagreement. To eliminate it completely is not realistic. But it is possible to use our relationships with others as a vehicle for growth and character development. The arguments, and emotions that accompany them, become part of the course work. Stay alert! Classes can begin at anytime.
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Honoring Your Mother After She's Died

by Gregg Krech For the past twenty years I have been conducting retreats in which a person spends a week reflecting on his or her entire life (Naikan retreat). A participant always begins with her mother and a central part...
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Grandfather's Siberian Sacrifice

By Andy Bienkowski "The history of our grandparents is remembered not with rose petals but in the laughter and tears of their children and their children's children. It is into us that the lives of grandparents have gone. It is...
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A Way Out of Conflict

by Gregg Krech The other day my wife and I argued. I did something that she disapproved of and she became angry. In witnessing her angry response I became angry at her. “There was nothing wrong with what I did,”...
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Where is the Joy in Alzheimer's Caregiving?

By Beverly Bigtree Murphy, MS, CRC, Caregiver I took care of my husband, Tom, at home through the duration of his years with Alzheimer’s. I did it with private home health care, respite breaks for short vacations, and what amounted...
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Predicting Divorce

John Gottman is a psychologist researcher that claims he can predict whether people will divorce with 91% accuracy. What do you think? Gottman begins the book with a bold and unsettling assertion: He can predict in five minutes -- with...
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Naikan As Preparation For Marriage in the Christian Tradition: A Case Study

by Rev. Denise Mosher The supreme happiness of life is the conviction of being loved for yourself, or more correctly, being loved in spite of yourself. ~Victor Hugo~ The goal of marriage preparation within the Christian tradition is to help...
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Coexisting with an Emotional Charge

A brief discussion by Linda Anderson Krech on how we can continue to handle the requirements of daily life while we are also dealing with an issue that carries a strong emotional charge. (3 min)...
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Being in Love

by C.S. Lewis Being in love is a good thing, but it is not the best thing. There are many things below it, but there are also many things above it. You cannot make it the basis of a whole...
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Marriage On My Mind

So I am doing my own small-scale and totally biased study. What does it take to have a long standing (not long suffering) marriage? One where the couple genuinely like and respect each other after many years. One where they treat each other with admiration, civility, and loving actions. My research involves pestering friends, relatives and acquaintances who have been together for more than twenty five years, and who appear to have made a better go of it than most. I ask them for their advice, their stories, their words of wisdom. Three themes that keep re-appearing are as follows: (1) an attitude of acceptance (or as one friend put it, "no blame"); (2) ensuring adequate time together; and (3) creating and cultivating small but important rituals in daily life.
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